This morning we checked out of the Surf Studios and drove north to the Kennedy Space Centre, a trip of an hour or so. It’s basically a shrine to American hope and technology, embodied through those hero astronauts living and dead. The endless flag-waving and patriotism can become a little tiresome, but to be fair the guide on our tour did emphasise the role played by the Russians in ensuring the survival of the International Space Station while the shuttle is grounded.
We took in pretty much everything, including the Rocket Garden (very phallic!) and an up-close tour of the International Space Station fabrication plant and shuttle launch pads. All very interesting, but by the time we reached the Apollo building Sue and I were all rocketed out. Actually this last exhibit was quite impressive, being a huge hangar containing one of the original Apollo V moon rockets suspended from the ceiling. It’s quite simply enormous, and it’s hard to imagine it ever getting off the ground. I for one would certainly never consider flying in such a contraption, and Sue and I shook our heads and tutted while Jim filmed endless footage of everything he could get his lens to focus on.
Apollo V rocket
We finally dragged him back to the car and headed west towards Orlando. The landscape here is quite different to the far south, being more temperate with more normal looking trees and plants, although you still see the odd palm tree and some sub-tropical vegetation mixed in with it. It’s not quite so flat either, but the roads are still dead straight.
As we approached Disney World I gritted my teeth and tightened my grip on the wheel, swallowing all my principles as I had to remember I was here for Sue and Jim, not myself. Once inside the evil empire the scale of the operation became apparent as we immediately got lost in the endless mire of theme parks, resort complexes and hotels. Our salvation came in the form of an employee in a little red sports car who guided us to our hotel, in the Pop Century Resort.
If you truly want to understand the meaning of ‘tacky’, ‘commercial’, ‘plastic’ and ‘patronising’ I suggest you do as we did and stay in a Disney resort. It’s a living nightmare of bright colours, cheery tunes on the tannoy, and endless hordes of screaming kids wearing mouse ears. However, I must grudgingly admit that it’s all done extremely well and with ruthless efficiency. We stayed in the 60’s building with a huge tub of Playdoh outside the front. The rooms were very nice and had effective sound-insulation so I could close the blinds and pretend I wasn’t there at all.
Disney resort
After dumping our bags we endured the school-canteen-like misery of the dining facilities (all very colourful) before hopping on a Disney bus to see what Downtown Disney was like. Surprisingly enough it was more bright colours, loud music, and miserable parents dragging their wailing offspring through endless hard-sell toy-shops.
I can’t stress enough how much I hated this place! However, I put a brave face on it and managed to get back to the hotel in time to grab a much-needed beer before the bar closed.
Runours of a photo of me wearing mouse ears are entirely unfounded and I’ll sue anyone who mentions it.
Definitely NOT a photo of me in mouse ears.